So, I think I really love Jesus. I know I say it all the time, but I don't think anyone gets how much. My heart sometimes feels like it's going to explode because of the love he just keeps showing me. I've never been here before...I've never been in a place where I am covered totally in Jesus. I've never felt so much freedom in my life...I've never felt loved by anyone as much as I know he loves me. I can't wait to see him....and I beg seriously everyday that he would show me his face. I want to see him so badly.....but I'm still in love with someone I can't see. I'm in love with someone who loves the whole world..and knows me inside and out. That's never happened to me before. No one understands me....except him. No one knows every single thing I love ...except him. No one knows my secrets...except him. No one knows how to make me laugh...except him.

I guess I am working on being lovable....Sometimes, I forget that I need time to be loved. I let Jesus in, but as for others..I don't want them to be near me. I don't want to receive love sometimes..because I really don't believe it. I know it sounds crazy...but I've been battling this for a long time..and it's finally time to start working on it again. It's not that I don't feel loved..I do...and I know people do love me..they tell me so...I just don't want to believe it. That's it!! I've finally got it! I just hate drama...I really do....but I want you all to know that I am seriously doing awesome right now..and I am blazing for the Lord. However, I'm still learning.....

Please keep me in your prayers..and I do the same for you! I love you guys, I really do. I know Satan is trying to really drag me down right now...he doesn't like I'm absolutely head over heels for Jesus...it's kinda cool..because I love smashing his face in the ground...! HE HE...I'M NOT IN SIN!!!!! I'M OBEDIANT!!! It can happen! It's been hard getting here, but I finally am here...and I'm not ever going to fall hard again...this is a new beginning for me. What my life should have been..I've finally picked up where I've left off....from when I was 7.

Encouraging word from the Lord: I've noticed your child-like faith....

I just want to be an encouragement for everyone..know the HE can do anything...HE is the way....I choose to follow only him....Give him everything, and love him....he just wants to give you the world.....he looks at you like no one else....

Thanks you Jesus...and thank you all for being there with me through this walk...I appreciate everyone of you...

Bethany I love you..know that I'm here..

Currently Listening Second Circle By Enter the Worship Circle see related

I would like everyone to know that I am still alive. HA! Alive and loving it....I just seem to never have anything to say on here....I sit down look at the screen and just stir my brain. I think there should be an invention where like you put a cap on your head and instantly all of your thoughts are written on here...what do you think about that? Does anybody else struggle with just not being able to say everything you want to say...(Brian do not reply, and I miss you)..HA!

Well I guess I can talk about my house. So, the guys came over and put Christmas lights up outside and it's amazing!!! I had to work that day after they put them up and I came home later that night and forgot about the lights. Then I saw them and I was like ajklgjowehehwnvowencpagh!! I was so excited! And we have an 8 ft. Christmas tree in our living room!! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!! AHH I just love it! Seriously......

We get a new roomate in three weeks....her name is Emily! Very excited for that! Life is amazing right now....I love this break because I'm seeking God with everything I've got. Last night I prayed so hard I thought I was going to get a headache. Jesus is so good.....

Oh, and I want to learn how to play bongo drums so I can rock out with tribal warriors! Wouldn't that be awesome...? I can see it now...me on the bongos, Rafiki on the shakers, all the people doing the "fumey" (secret dance), and me wearing war paint and a head thing with feathers on it...........do you think this is ever possible??  I DO!!!

Well it is time for me to go back to sleep..I got up at 5:30 this morning to go run with the good ol' Mexico team....Adam had me act like I fell, and the team had to carry me...rather nice workout I must say...HA! You know me.....always up for acting...and being carried ...

I love you guys a lot..

Currently Listening The Everglow By Mae see related

HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH........CLASSES ARE OVER!!!!! YEEEEEHAW!

LOVE YA'LL!